


He Can't Love You Like I Do

by anneryn7



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Death Threats, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Forced Orgasm, Forced Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt Bonnie Bennett, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, Medical, Multi, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Protective Caroline, Protective Derek Hale, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rebuilding, Sadistic Damon, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sexual Abuse, Threats, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Threesome - F/F/M, Triggers, doctor damon, forced unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7000705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anneryn7/pseuds/anneryn7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. AH. Bamon with Berek endgame. Slowburn. Bonnie is trapped in an abusive relationship with Dr. Damon Salvatore. She overhears someone talking to Derek about the self-defense classes he offers & decides to take them. He's just her instructor. It's not his job to fall in love with her and show her how she should be loved, but that doesn't mean that he won't. Trigger warnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a dark story. It's intended to be slow-burn. There are very much trigger warnings. Katherine will also be featured in this story. Reviews are lovely. (Bc currently, Berek is my OTP)
> 
> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, OR THE CHARACTERS.

I took a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare myself, as I walked into the hospital that Damon works at. It didn't take me long to spot him. He noticed me right away and gave me the smile that used to make me melt, now it just made me feel uneasy. I plastered a smile on my face and walked over to him, like the dutiful girlfriend I'm supposed to be. He wanted me to bring him lunch, so here I am.

"Hey baby, is that for me?" He asked in a light voice. I nodded, even though he already knows that it is. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't. But playing the part is what I'm supposed to do – playing the part is the only thing that keeps me safe.

"I brought your favorite." I told him. I stopped by a local Italian place and got his standing order. What Damon wants, Damon gets.

"That's my girl." He smirked as he pulled me in for a kiss. I was careful not to wince or show pain. He hates that. I did my best to kiss him back.

"I thought I saw you, Bonnie!" Meredith exclaimed. I smiled at her. She's always been nice to me, and not because she wants to get into Damon's pants. She's just a genuinely caring person. "Awe, how sweet. Did you bring your guy lunch?" She asked, beaming at me. I nodded and an easy smile stretched across my face. "When are you guys gonna get married?" She pried. The thought of marrying Damon made my heart plummet into my stomach. There's nothing that I'd rather avoid. I can't imagine being legally tethered to the very man that gives me nightmares every night.

"We're still young. Why rush, right? Besides, things are perfect the way they are. I can't imagine being with anyone else. Bonnie is perfect for me. And have you seen her? She's a bombshell." Damon said with his usual persuasive ease. The kind of ease that made people look the other way and never think twice about the lame excuses he always uses. Why would they? He's a charmer.

"Well, I don't know about that, but Damon is definitely a catch." I lied and leaned up to give him another kiss. His eyes twinkled and I knew that I did the right thing. I carefully set the bag of his food on the desk in the waiting area.

"Ouch, what did you do, Bonnie?" Meredith asked me, gesturing to my wrist. I glanced down at it and took a deep breath, before pasting a small smile on my face. I flipped my hair back with my good hand and leaned forward.

"Are you ready for this? Because you're gonna laugh." I warned her. She giggled and nodded. Damon just stood back and watched as I gave her my practiced lie. "Damon is always going on about how he hates the color of his bathroom. So, I thought it would be nice to surprise him one day, while he was at work. _**Big**_ mistake – let me tell you. I made the mistake of leaning too far, while I was painting and I fell off of the ladder." I told her. Her hand flew to her mouth. I nodded. "I guess I made the ladder fall, too, because both gallons of paint came down with me… Luckily the floor wasn't damaged, because the paint tins both landed on me. My wrist and knee caught their fall." I finished explaining, with a practiced laugh. She looked so sympathetic.

"That's the last time I let her paint alone." Damon joked. I nodded and leaned into him.

"Thank God," I agreed. Meredith just laughed.

"You're too much." She grinned. Her pager went off. "That's me. I gotta go, but I'll catch you later. Enjoy lunch!" She excused herself and she was off. Damon turned his full attention on me.

"How did you get here?" He asked me, quietly, careful to keep his body language nonthreatening.

"Caroline brought me. She offered, since I can't really drive on the pain meds." I told him. He nodded.

"Come on. Let's eat in my office." He suggested. He offered me his arm and I took it, wishing that I didn't have to. Going to his office, where no one can see us could mean so many different things. I hope Caroline doesn't mind waiting… Even if she does, there's really not much that I can do now.

Once we were in his office, he closed the door and shut the blinds, so no one could look in on us. He locked the door and walked over to me, before putting the food on his desk. He backed me up against the wall. I fought to keep my breathing even, but failed. He scares me and he knows it. He uses it to his advantage on a daily basis. I hate it.

"Come on, Bonnie. You know what I want." He whispered, as his hands found my waist. He was already unbuttoning my jeans. My breathing quickened and I begged myself not to cry.

"Don't, please," I begged. His face twisted into a cruel smirk and I knew that I made a mistake by asking. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm so fucking stupid. I tried to brace myself for whatever punishment he was going to give me.

"Don't what, Bonnie?" He asked in a low voice. I felt the blood draining from my face. I just shook my head.

"Nothing," I lied. His mouth relaxed, but his eyes still looked dangerous.

"Get on your knees." He breathed. I trembled, but did as he told me. I tried to block it out as it happened. It made it easier if I didn't think about it. I wasn't down there long. He yanked me up and threw me against his desk. He pulled my pants down and bent me over. "You better hope to God that you're wet, otherwise this is going to hurt." He taunted in my ear. I just shook against him. I keened my ears and tried to listen for the rip of a condom wrapper, but heard none. He shoved himself inside of me, without warning. I bit down on my lip to keep from screaming out. God, it hurts. It always does with Damon. He kept his movements brutal. I know that I'm going to have bruises from the desk, but I also know that he doesn't care. Why would he? He seemed set on taking his time. It felt like forever, before I knew he was close.

"Don't come inside me." I begged him, bordering hysteria. He just chuckled and gripped my waist harder. He grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked back. I cried out as he shot his seed inside of me. I sobbed. I'm not on birth control. He doesn't allow it. I can't get pregnant with his baby. I can't. I'd rather die, than bring a child into this world with him. I just can't.

"You should know better, than to tell me what to do." He seethed, as he pulled out. I slumped onto the floor and he fixed his pants. He started eating his lunch, like nothing just happened. He looked down at me, like I was a stain on his floor. "Get a hold of yourself. I have an image to uphold. If I wanted to be with someone who looked like a two dollar whore, I wouldn't be with you." He growled. He strode over to me and pulled me to my feet. He fixed my clothes, purposefully not cleaning me up. He smirked at me and put his arms on either side of me, caging me in. "Say it." He ordered. I wanted to refuse, but I didn't want to face the aftermath.

"I love you." I bit out. It sounded like a lie and I didn't care. He moved so fast, that I didn't even see it. I felt the blow in my stomach, before I realized what happened. I cried out and fell forward. He pulled my hair into his fist and forced me to look up at him.

"You're mine. Don't ever forget that." He looked down at my mouth and kissed me, like he really did love me. It was soft and tender, everything that he wasn't. He coaxed me into a make-out session. I felt myself getting lost in him. He always gets me like this. It's so easy to forget how evil he can be, sometimes. He picked me up and started kissing my neck. I groaned and wrapped my legs against him. "I love you." He breathed. His hand traveled up my shirt and caressed every inch of skin that he could touch. He pushed everything off of his desk and lowered me down, before working on taking off my clothes. I knew what he wanted and I knew that I would give it to him. We were having sex in a matter of moments. His libido is ridiculous.

He didn't use a condom this time, either. That wasn't lost on me. I don't know why he does this. He plays me hot and cold to keep me off guard. I can't stand it. He cleaned me up this time. He helped me get dressed and kissed me more. He walked me to the door and escorted me out of the building. We walked me all the way to right outside the front doors. He kissed me outside, probably to show everyone that I was his. Whatever his reason, he took his time.

"I'll see you at home. Don't worry about making dinner. I'll order us something, before I head home. Take a bath. It'll help your ribs." He told me. I nodded.

"I will." I promised.

"Good girl," he smirked. "I love you, baby. Be good." With that, he went back into the building. I limped to Caroline's car. My knee still isn't healed. It's a miracle that it didn't break. I just have a sprain. My wrist is a completely different story. I can already feel the bruises from visiting Damon. I sighed. I prayed to God that Caroline wasn't already mad at me and wouldn't mind stopping by the pharmacy so I could get a Plan B pill.

* * *

Caroline was livid, when I explained why I needed to go to the pharmacy. She's also one of my only friends and the only one who knows what Damon is really like. I can't always keep up his messes by myself. I went in alone, because I didn't want Caroline to cause a scene. I walked to the back of the pharmacy and waited my turn in line.

"Your classes have really been a lifesaver, Derek. I don't know what I would do without you." One of the women gloated to a well-built man in line ahead of me. He gives lessons? What kind?

"I think that everyone should be able to defend themselves. It's no trouble at all." He smiled at her. He's handsome, too. She walked away and he smiled at me. I felt my cheeks turn red.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you offer self-defense classes?" I asked him, in a moment of bravery. He nodded kindly at me. "Would you mind if I asked where?" I pried, timidly. He laughed and shook his head.

"I give lessons at the YMCA in town." He explained. I nodded.

"One of my friends teaches Pilates and yoga there, Caroline." I admitted.

"I know her. Caroline is great." He made easy conversation with me.

"Um, how much are your classes?" I asked him, trying not to talk myself out of this. If Damon didn't find out… it might be good to learn.

"Ten dollars a session." He replied. I nodded.

"When are they? I'm sorry about all the questions, but I think… I think I might really benefit from that kind of class." I told him. He nodded.

"Is that what happened to your arm?" He asked. I froze and shook my head.

"That? No. I'm just clumsy." I lied. He didn't seem to buy it, though.

"Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays."

"Do you offer private lessons?" I inquired. The less people know about this the better. Instead of replying, he just nodded. Today is Tuesday, so there should be one tomorrow. "Would ten in the morning be okay? Caroline's yoga class is at nine." I asked.

"That's fine." He admitted. "Look, if you don't want me to ask about your injuries, I won't. But that doesn't mean that I believe a word of your excuses." He told me. His words shook me to my core. I didn't know what to say.

"Okay. Can we… Can we just keep the lessons between us? If you don't ask, then I won't lie. I just… It would be really great if Caroline was the only other person who knew that I was taking a self-defense class." I told him, timidly.

"You have my word. I'll see you tomorrow." He agreed. He got his prescriptions from the pharmacist and left, without saying anything else. The exchange made me feel unsettled. I don't like doing things that would piss Damon off, but something in my gut told me that I this was something I needed. I hope I'm right.

"Can I help you?" The pharmacist asked me. I nodded.

"Can I get the Plan B pill, please?" I asked her. She gave me a disgusted look of disapproval, but did as I asked. I handed her the money to pay for it and left without anything else. I caught Derek looking at me as he waited to pay for the rest of his items. Had he heard me? I sighed. It's not like I can afford to worry about that now. Damon is going to be home soon. What have I gotten myself into?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Again, there will probably be trigger warnings every chapter. I probably won't post a specific warning for each chapter, since it's in the story summary. But, you've been warned. I hope you're enjoying this so far… This is definitely slow-burn and I'm not condoning or trying to romanticize abusive relationships. They're incredibly complicated and I'm doing my best to do this justice.
> 
> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, OR THE CHARACTERS.

I had just gotten out of the bath, when I heard Damon walk into our bedroom. I was immediately on edge. I never know what to expect with him, but I think he prefers it that way. If I'm always afraid, then it'll be easier for him to control me. After all, that's what he lives for – what he thrives on – control.

The door to the bathroom opened and I froze. Damon's mouth curved into a smirk. He licked his lips and sauntered over to me. He pulled me against him, felt me up and smelled my hair.

"Nothing smells better than you do – I swear." He sighed. Without warning, he dropped to his knees in front of me and lifted my injured leg and began a trail of kisses up my leg. My breath quickened and became uneven. He lifted the leg up and propped it over his shoulder. He held onto me, so I wouldn't lose my balance. His eyes locked with mine, as he lifted my towel and let it drop onto the floor.

"I thought we could skip dinner and get right to dessert, since you've been such a good girl. I have a surprise for you later. I think you'll love it. Just thinking about it made me hot." He moaned. He buried his face in between my legs and I gasped. This makes twice today that he's been gentle with me. This is so unlike him. Maybe he really is changing… A girl can wish… Right?

* * *

After I was finished, Damon carried me to bed. He look his time taking his clothes off. When he finished, he began to kiss his way up my body, stopping to give me massages as he went. I couldn't help but enjoy it. I knew that I was just putty in his hands and he learned long ago how to play me well. That hasn't changed in the years that we've been together.

He was ready to go again, before I was, not that it mattered. We both knew that I was too sore to be doing this, but refusing Damon has never gotten me anywhere. It didn't matter if I wanted it or not. If Damon wanted it, he got it. He always made sure of that. Putting up a fight just makes him mad and pissing him off, just gets me hurt.

It was over before I knew it. I had blocked out the majority of it and just went through the motions. He tried to make me enjoy it. He even forced another orgasm out of me – willingly or not – it didn't matter. I didn't matter.

"I swear that I'll never get enough of you." He panted, as he rolled off of me. Someone knocked on our bedroom door and I jumped. Damon pulled me in for a rough kiss and smirked, as he got off of the bed to answer it – naked. I gulped, not sure what to expect. This can't be good. I pulled the blankets up to cover myself with. A woman walked in, clad in only lacy black lingerie. She winked at me, when she noticed me staring.

"So this is the one, huh?" She asked him, clearly talking about me. Damon nodded and I saw a dangerous glint in his eyes. "I'm Katherine. I've gotta hand it to Damon here. You're even hotter than he let on. I think I'm more excited to play with you, than I ever have been with him." She smirked. I felt like someone dumped a bucket of ice over me. Did I really hear her right? Does he really expect me to let some stranger have sex with me?

"She's just shy. I've already warmed her up. This was her idea, after all, but she had no idea that I would be making her fantasy into a reality so soon. She told me that she would feel more comfortable with me watching her get fucked by a woman, instead of a man. Isn't that right, baby?" He lied. He acted like it was a question, but really, it was a threat. If I didn't let Katherine do what he wanted to me, then he would get some guy to do it instead. That I knew I couldn't handle. I just have to find a way to be okay with this…

"Damon, why don't you give us girls a minute to get acquainted? She needs a minute to get used to me, especially if this is her first time with something like this." Katherine suggested. Damon didn't look like he was buying it. So, it's my turn to say something. If I don't go along with this… I can't imagine how severe my punishment would be.

"I think it'll really help. Just a minute?" I mirrored Katherine's request. She looked pleased and that seemed to go it for Damon. As soon as Damon left the room, Katherine came over to me. She sized me up and looked me over. She stroked the side of my face, like she was trying to get me to relax. She moved onto the bed and hovered over me, like she wasn't really sure if I wanted this or not.

"It's just us girls here. Relax Bonnie. I promise that I'm not going to hurt you." She breathed. For some reason, the way that she said it made me believe her. I nodded and she pressed her lips against mine, gently. She didn't break the kiss, like I had expected her to. She treated me like I was something fragile and about to break. She kept kissing me, until I was timidly kissing her back. She brought her hands to my shoulders and started to pull my blankets down. I started to panic. She pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "I won't hurt you." She repeated. The way she keeps talking, makes me feel like she's been with Damon before and she's used to how hurtful he can be.

"Okay," I whispered. The bedroom door opened and Damon came back inside. He smiled, when he saw our current position.

"That's my girl. This is what I like to see." He mused. "Don't worry, baby. This is all about you. I'm just going to watch… and then Katherine is going to watch us." Something told me that this wouldn't be as simple as he was making it sound.

* * *

Katherine was gentle and took her time. True to her word, she didn't hurt me. I was grateful to her for that. Damon, though, Damon was a completely different story. He did his best to push me past my limits and then some. He wanted me to break and he wanted Katherine to see that he was the one breaking me.

* * *

I jolted awake, with a start. My hands flew to my throat and I started coughing. Everything hurts. The last thing I remember was Damon putting his hands around my throat and squeezing, as he plowed into me from behind.

"Here this will help with the pain. He's already in the shower and I already told him that I was giving this to you. Don't worry." Katherine assured me, as she handed me a glass of water and two white pills. I took them without questioning it. There is nothing that could make me feel worse than I already do, right now.

"There's my girl. I'm glad to see you're up." Damon smirked, before coming over to us and sitting down on the bed, wearing only a towel.

"I was worried about you, for a minute there." Katherine admitted. Damon didn't seem too fazed by her words.

"I would never do anything to hurt my girl. Would I?" He asked me. I shook my head, even though we all knew it was a lie.

"Girl, I have _**got**_ to take you shopping with me, one of these days. I've been dying to go and no one will go with me. We can get you something special to wear for your man." She suggested with a wink.

"Please do, I'm glad the two of you are getting along. The two of you fucking was the hottest thing I've seen in my life." He mused, before leaning over and kissing me roughly. He pulled away and noticed that I was looking at Katherine. "Don't worry, baby. Discretion is what I pay her for."

* * *

I was incredibly slow moving in the morning. Damon gave me more painkillers and had to help me cover all of my bruises with makeup. He got so careless last night. They're littering my body and impossible to hide, otherwise.

Caroline was running late, so Damon offered to take me to the gym on his way to work. I'm not sure if it's because he regrets going overboard last night, or not. He tried to talk me into staying home and skipping working out altogether. We both know that I'm in no condition to go, but I couldn't just sit in the house and pretend like everything was going to be okay. I told him that Caroline was helping me slowly get my leg and arm back into shape with physical therapy. It's not a total stretch, but he bought it.

"I'll walk you inside. It's been ages since I've seen that Barbie friend of yours." He smirked, as he parked the car. He really didn't leave it up for discussion. He got my bag for me and helped me inside. Derek was helping someone train near the front of the gym. He saw me, but didn't say anything, thank _**God**_. I spotted Caroline and gave her a little wave. She looked surprised to see Damon here, but she played it off well. She walked over to us with a smile. Her smile faltered when she got a closer look at my neck and arms. I guess we didn't do as good of a job covering the bruises, as I thought. I had a light jacket on, praying that it would hide how hideous my arms are. It's not so much my arms, as my wrists.

"I didn't expect to see you here, Damon." Caroline admitted in a light voice. His smirk just broadened.

"Well, thinking was never your strong suit. That's why I don't mind my girl here, being friends with you." He chuckled. My jaw dropped and I gaped at him. He had the decency to look apologetic. "What? I was kidding. You know that I respect you and your friendship with my baby girl, don't you?" Damon half-heartedly tried to rectify the situation. Caroline scowled and turned into a tight smile.

"Sure I do." She replied flatly.

"See, she can take a joke. I'll see you at home later. Don't worry about dinner, baby. Stefan will be coming to stay with us for a few days. Something about his place getting fumigated or something. Regardless, make sure you were something nice. Okay?" He asked me. I forced myself to nod in agreement. "That's my girl." He smirked, before leaning down and giving me a possessive kiss. "Have fun, but not too much fun." He winked at us and then left. Caroline rounded on me the second that he was out of the building.

"Are you fucking kidding me, right now?! What the hell did he do to you?!" She exclaimed. I grabbed her arm and silently begged her to quiet down. She seemed to get the hint, because she took it down a notch. "Seriously, Bonnie, there are finger imprints on your neck! You can't tell me that's nothing!"

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" I said, instead of what I desperately wanted to.

"No, not okay! You can't stay with him! I don't care what he's told you or threatened you with! I won't watch him kill you, Bonnie!" She said in an increasingly shrill voice. I gulped and shifted under her gaze, uncomfortably.

"What am I supposed to do, Caroline? Where am I supposed to go? I don't have any family left. Don't you get it? You're my only friend! If I left to stay with you, what's to stop him from coming after you?! I won't let him hurt you, because of me! I couldn't live with myself!" I snapped back at her. I felt tears welling in my eyes. "I need to pee." I excused myself, hurriedly and all but ran to the bathroom. I passed a concerned looking Derek in the process, but refused to make eye contact. I waited until I was safely locked in a stall, before allowing myself to break down.

Why did I even bother with the Plan B pill yesterday? He made damn sure that he didn't use a condom at all, last night, either. It doesn't matter what I want. None of it matters. I just have to find a way to live with it and survive. I hated it. When I met Damon… When I first got together with Damon, he was a completely different person. My Grams was still around and my dad was still alive. After my Grams died, Damon really stepped up. He was always there for me. And then all of a sudden, my dad died. Someone went off of his meds and just shot him. After that, I had no one. Damon changed so gradually, that I didn't even see it, until it was too late. He waited until I was completely dependent on him and I had no one else in the world. He is so fucking conniving.

"Bonnie, I'm sorry. Okay? You don't know how hard it is watching him always hurt you. He acts like he owns you or something. You're not his fucking property. I hate it! I swear to God that I'm going to find a way to get you out of this. You can't keep living this way." She lamented. I just kept crying. Why did I have to drag her into this? If anything happens to her, it'll kill me. "Please unlock the door, Bonnie. Please," she begged. I did as she asked and mopped off my face on my sleeve. "How bad is it really?" She asked me. I just shook my head.

"You don't want to know, okay? I can't handle you looking at me with any more pity, than you already do. I wouldn't be able to stomach it." I refused.

"I need to know, Bonnie. We have to take pictures. We'll take them on my phone, he'll never find out. It doesn't even have to be in here. We can go into one of the empty rooms in the back. They don't have any windows. We can leave the lights off and I'll just turn on the flash, okay?" She tried to reason with me. I knew that I wasn't going to lose this one and there was no sense in me arguing with her, so I nodded in agreement. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up and out of here, before anyone else comes in." She suggested, helping me to my feet. I followed her out of the bathroom stall and scrubbed my hands in the sink, before following her out of the restroom.

True to her word, she led me towards the back of the gym and we went into one of the empty rooms. She left one set of lights on, but the rest of them were off. It was just bright enough for us to see, but not so bright, that I felt like I was under a spotlight. Caroline helped me get out of my clothes. I took off everything, save for my sports bra, underwear and the small pair of running shorts that I had on under my yoga pants.

"Oh, Bonnie," Caroline cried, as she started taking pictures. I heard the tears in her voice and her voice crack. She asked me to reposition for some of the pictures, but stayed quiet otherwise. It didn't take long, but I wasn't comfortable being exposed like this. She put her phone up and bent down to put my socks on. A knock sounded on the door, before it opened. I froze in fear. We forgot to lock it! How could we have been so careless?!

Derek stepped inside and immediately realized his error. There's no way that I can explain all of this away. Fuck. My. Life. Caroline scrambled to hand me my clothes, but the damage was already done. She helped me get my pants back on, since it was still tricky because of my messed up knee. When we finally refocused our attention on Derek, he looked livid. I took a deep breath and tried not to be afraid of him.

"The man who brought you here today, he's the one who did this to you. Isn't he?" He asked me in a low voice. I didn't respond. "I could fucking kill him." He fumed. I just stared at him.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, quickly. "I think the lessons are a bad idea. I made a mistake." I tried to leave the room and walk past him, but he stopped me by the arm.

"You're not leaving, until we talk about this." He told me. I looked to Caroline for help, but she didn't seem to know what to do, either.

"You said you wouldn't ask." I whispered. He visibly calmed down and let go of my arm.

"That's before I had this shoved in my face. Is there any part of your body that doesn't hurt or isn't covered in a bruise right now?" He asked in disbelief. I didn't know how to answer him and I didn't want to. "Can we have a minute to talk alone, Caroline? I promise you, on my life, that I won't hurt her. You can come after me yourself, if I try." He asked her. She just nodded. I scowled, feeling betrayed.

"I trust him. He's a good guy, Bonnie. I'll be right outside. Just yell if you need me. You know I won't leave you." She told me as she left us alone in the room and shut the door behind her.

"You can't seriously be reconsidering the self-defense lessons. That's the least you should be doing. He's twice the size of you. He's already beaten the crap out of you." He said, bitterly. I flinched and took a step back from him. He seemed to realize that he was making me uncomfortable, because he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You're getting the lessons. I can't have your death on my conscience." He decided for me.

"Okay." I agreed, not sure what else I could say.

"No one has the right to put his or her hands on you. You do know that, right?" He asked me softly. I adverted my gaze to the ground and shrugged. Did I? Does it even really matter anymore? It is what it is and I can't change it. "No, look at me. You matter. No one has the right to do what has been done to you." He said in a firm voice. He placed a finger under my chin and lifted my face, gently, so that I had to look him in the eye. "You asked me for my help for a reason. You know that this isn't right. You need to find that feeling again and hold onto it. Okay? You're in no shape to do anything today. You need to ice and take it easy." He sighed. I opened my mouth to argue, but he just shook his head. "Come on. Let's get you iced."

* * *

I still didn't know how I felt about my second exchange with Derek. Who does he think he is? Is what he said really that off base? Why does he even care? He doesn't even know me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Oh, my goodness, everyone! Thank you for all the feedback for this. I really do, honest to God, appreciate it. It lets me know what's going on in your minds, when you read this. It's incredibly helpful. Reviews are always appreciated and I appreciate those of you who take the time to do it! I had the time to reply to them, but they make my day! I hope that this chapter kind of answers the questions that some of you had.
> 
> (For those of you who follow my other stories, I will be updating those soon, too! Hopefully this weekend! Work has me crazy busy and I've been super inspired for this fic.)
> 
> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, OR THE CHARACTERS.

The entire car ride was silent, as Caroline drove me home. There was nothing more she could say, that she hadn't already. I don't think the silence really bothered either of us, honestly. Enough has happened today, the quiet was welcomed. I still don't really believe it all – that it actually happened.

"There's a reason that Derek is acting as strongly as he is, Bon." Caroline admitted, successfully breaking the silence. I looked over at her, but I didn't say anything. I knew that she wasn't finished talking. I know he well enough to know better. "Derek's older sister, Laura, she was in an abusive relationship. I'm not saying that her situation is the same as yours, because it isn't. I don't know all of the specifics and I didn't feel comfortable asking him to share more than he was comfortable sharing with me. The guy beat her up pretty bad, Bonnie. Derek found out and he convinced her to leave him. But it didn't stop there. That guy came after their younger sister, Cora, and put her in a coma. Cora came out of it okay. She doesn't keep in touch with Derek or Laura, because she blames them for what happened to her. The guy ended up in jail. I don't know anything else, but I thought you should know. Derek isn't just spitting fire out of his ass, he's sort of been there. He's seen the aftermath. I don't want that for you. Just picturing that happening to you, terrifies me. I couldn't live without you, Bonnie. You're like a sister to me.

* * *

Caroline gave me a lot to think about. I put on a long maxi dress and wore a cardigan over it. Both are clothes that Damon has claimed he liked on me. They're soft and comfortable. The less bruises that I show, the better.

* * *

"Hey baby," a soft voice woke me up. I jerked, when I realized that I had dozed off on the couch. I didn't mean to. I had taken more of the painkillers that Damon left for me and they make me so groggy.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, softly. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. I guess I must've overdone it at the gym… and the pills for my wrist make me so tired." I explained. Damon didn't seem angry in the slightest. If anything, he seemed content, which is rare for him.

"I'm glad you slept. I was worried about you. I know how set you were about going to the gym." His words oozed sincerity. It was throwing me off.

"We both are. It's good to see you, Bonnie. It's been too long. You're the one good thing my brother has ever done in his life." Stefan leaned down to hug me. His embrace was a little too tight for comfort, but it's not his fault that his brother probably cracked a few of my ribs, yesterday. It was nice. I've always liked Stefan. Apart from the looks department, he's never really been anything like Damon. They share a last name and devastatingly good looks, but that's about it.

"We're happy to have you." I assured him. He smiled at me, as he let me go.

"I hope you're hungry, baby. We order Thai. I got you an order of that Thai tea you like so much and mangos with green tea rice for dessert." Damon told me.

"Thank you."

* * *

It was unexpectedly nice to have Stefan here. It was almost too easy to get used to his warm presence. His warmth is such a vivid contrast compared to Damon's glacial demeanor.

I knew that the peace here at here would be short lived. There's no way that this reverie could last… It will just leave a bittersweet taste in my mouth, when it's over too soon. If every day was like this with Damon, I would have no problems surviving. His ability to go from charmer to tormentor will forever terrify and amaze me, in equal measure.

* * *

"We don't have to watch a movie, if you're too tired, Bonnie. It's not a big deal." Stefan tried to assure me. My eyes flew open at his admission. I've been fighting to keep my eyes open for the past hour, but I had been hoping that it wasn't too obvious. Damon wanted to watch a movie, the three of us together. I didn't want to do anything to upset him. I didn't think that my body could take any slip-ups.

"Oh, no, it's fine, really." I lied, with a smile. Damon had been watching out exchange with an unnatural enthusiasm. It made me worried. What could he possibly be up to now? Hadn't he already put me through enough?

"Baby, he's right. Why don't we take the movie to the bedroom? That way, you can soak in a bath with some Epsom salt. I picked up some of that wine you like on the way home. Why don't I pour you a glass and get a bubble bath started with candles? It's been a while since you've enjoyed a bath with the works." He suggested. I couldn't deny that his offer sounded so tempting. He definitely knew where I liked and had no problem using it against me on more than one occasion. "That way, you can watch the rest of the movie with us, when you're done. And it won't matter if you fall asleep, because we'll already be in bed." He added. It's logical – I'll give him that – but that doesn't mean that I believe him. It's not like anything would be different, even if I did.

"Okay," I gave in, like I always do. It's better than getting hit. I just couldn't take anymore tonight. I'm just not strong enough to take it. I doubt I would be able to recover from it mentally. I feel like I'm inches away from cracking. I really can't afford that right now – not here – not in front of them.

"Only if that's alright with you," Stefan spoke up. He's so sweet. He's always been so thoughtful. I wish that Damon was more like him. I knew that Stefan was only speaking up, so I wouldn't feel pressured by Damon. If he only knew…

"No, it's fine, really. A bath sounds so nice." I smiled. Stefan seemed to relax and Damon seemed to do the opposite. Damon took my hand and led me to our room.

"Would you mind grabbing the wine from the kitchen and a glass for Bonnie, Stefan?" Damon asked him. Stefan nodded with a small smile and did as he was asked, like the dutiful brother he was. "Come on, baby girl." Damon redirected us. He helped me sit down on the edge of the tub, as he turned on the hot water and doctored the bath with Epsom salt, lavender bath oil, and bubble bath. He lit the candles that we kept in our bathroom. The tub didn't take too long to fill up. Stefan knocked on the open bathroom door, before walking in with the opened wine bottle and filled wine glass in hand. I accepted the glass, gratefully.

"Thank you, Stefan." I thanked him softly and took a sip.

"I'll help her get situated and then I'll be right out." Damon told his brother. Stefan nodded and excused himself and shut the door behind him. Damon helped me undress carefully. He took me into his arms and lowered me into the tub. The intimacy of it left me unnerved. As much as I hate him – and even though I know that there are thousands of reasons that I shouldn't – part of me still loved him and part of me feared that I always would. Sometimes, even if it was just for a few moments, I would catch glimpses of the man I fell in the love with. The same man that helped me cope with the death of my only remaining family. The man that Damon rarely was anymore. Loving him stopped being a reason a long time ago. Fear is what kept me here and I think we both knew that, even if no one said it out loud.

He leaned down and covered my lips with his own. He's trying to be romantic, but I can't figure out why. Every time he does this, it's because he has something horrible up his sleeve. My nose started to sting and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I swallowed them back and fought to keep them at bay. He pulled away and stroked the side of my face.

"Did I ever tell you what it was like growing up with Stefan?" Damon asked me, out of the blue. I shook my head, trying to figure out where he was going with this. "We shared everything. There was a time that we even shared women. It worked out, for the most part. We've always had the same taste, as far as women go. Our women were always showered with attention. They were never ignored." I felt like my heart stopped. He can't be serious!

"What are you saying?" I asked him, without considering the possible repercussions.

"I'm saying, baby, that it would be just like old times, if we started sharing you." He smirked. I inched away from him.

"No," I refused, without thinking. Anger flared in his eyes. I felt the sting and yelped, as Damon's hand made contact with my mouth. Blood spurted out on his hand. His ring must've gotten me.

"What makes you think that you have a choice in the matter?" He growled. I gulped and wished that I was anywhere else.

"What if he won't go for it?" I asked him, praying that Damon was bluffing and that Stefan would be able to take some sense into him.

"I know my brother than you ever will – or did you forget that, baby? And if you even think about refusing, just know that I can make your life a living hell." He threatened me. I don't know what he meant by that, exactly. And honestly, I didn't have to. The threat was enough to know that he would make sure that he made good on his promise. He always did. He still has something up his sleeve… He never shows all of his cards. "Be a good girl and enjoy your bath. We'll be waiting for you."

* * *

I didn't even think about emerging from the bathtub until I had polished off the entire bottle of wine, I had taken another dose of painkillers, and the bath water had gone cold. I tried to support myself on the railing on the wall, near the tub. I tried to stand up, but lost my footing. I grabbed the side of the tub, momentarily steadying myself. I tried to climb out and fell hard, hitting my hip and shoulder in the process. I cried out and cradled my shoulder. Why can I never catch a break?!

The bathroom door burst open and both Damon and Stefan came running in. Damon rushed over to me and picked me up in his arms.

"What hurts, baby?" He asked me, worriedly. I winched and tried to hold back the tears.

"My hip and shoulder," I huffed through gritted teeth. Damon seemed to be shielding me from Stefan's view, but I know that there's no way that he hadn't seen at least some of Damon's handy work.

"There's no way that all of that is from falling in the tub. What the hell have you been doing to her, Damon?!" Stefan demanded.

"Now's not the time, Stefan. I need to make sure that she didn't break anything." Damon tried to deflect.

"Like hell it is. You're not going to touch her again. I'm taking her out of here. Bonnie pack a bag." Stefan ordered me. Damon's grip on me tightened.

"Like hell you are!" Damon yelled. Stefan pulled out his phone and made a call, speaking too low for either of us to hear him.

"The police are on their way. I'm sure you'll enjoy explaining to Liz why Bonnie is in the condition she's in. We're leaving. Unless you want to be here, when they get here, I suggest you leave." Stefan stood his ground. Damon radiated fury. I've never seen him look so furious. The look he's giving Stefan is deadly.

"I'm sure you planned this, you manipulative bitch." Damon growled, before tossing me aside. I landed painfully on my side, on the bathroom floor. "This is far from over." Damon stormed out.

"I'm not afraid of you. You won't come near her again." Stefan yelled after him.

"Oh, but you will be. Just try and fucking stop me. I will kill you, if you keep her from me. I don't make promises that I can't keep, brother."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope this chapter answers some of your questions! I'll try to have the next chapter up maybe this weekend. I'm going to try and get some of my other stories updated, first. Thank you, SO much for taking the time to review! Seriously, it's so nice to get home from work and read them!
> 
> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, OR THE CHARACTERS.

Liz arrived, just as we were leaving. I had just finished packing a bag, when she and Deputy Parrish found us. Thankfully, Stefan helped me get dressed and was a complete gentleman about it. I was still shaking, as we drove to the hospital. I couldn't stop. I knew that Damon would make good on his promise. There's no doubt in my mind – that's what scares me the most.

I thought that if the secret got out, that I would feel relieved – like some huge burden had been lifted. That couldn't be further from the truth. Right now – I just feel panicked.

As Liz escorted me and Stefan through the hospital, I tried to ignore the mass of pitied stares. I didn't want their pity. I didn't need it. That's the last thing I want. Now, I just feel like some dirty secret that everyone is going to start gossiping about. It makes me want to run and hide. Being paraded through Damon's workplace is making my skin crawl. I didn't want to be here and I definitely don't want his colleagues to be the ones to treat me.

I can already hear their whispers. They're not even trying to be discreet. Their voices are all filled with doubt. They keep going on and on about the fact that Damon is such a great man and he would never do a thing like this. They claim that I have done something to provoke him or that I probably deserved it.

It didn't matter that I was only in my dress from earlier and my arms were bare, because I didn't have time to put on a sweater. It didn't matter that part of my face was swollen, my wrist was broken, my arms were covered in bruises, or that I was walking with a limp. None of that mattered, because they all saw what they wanted to see. Damon was the victim, even though he was my abuser. And it was my fault, because they would rather believe that I asked for it and blame me, than tarnish the reputation of one of their beloved doctors.

"Bonnie?! Oh, my God! I couldn't believe it, when they told me… What happened to you?! Did _**he**_ do this?!" Meredith exclaimed, as she made her way over to us.

"I don't want to talk about it." I told her, instead of answering her questions. I know that they are probably the first of many, but I really just can't right now. I can barely keep it together, as it is.

"Okay, yeah, of course." Meredith accepted what I said, without any hesitation. "He should be in jail." She fumed, more to herself, than to anyone else. "Come on. I'll treat you. I would rather I do it, than anyone else. Some people here have absolutely no class and can't keep their ignorant mouths shut. You don't need to hear any of their bias right now."

I let Meredith take control of the situation. I trusted her to do her job and stay professional about it. Liz didn't leave my side. Stefan and Deputy Parrish waited outside the examination room.

* * *

I lost track of how many tests they ran. Liz took pictures and I tried to ignore how exposed I felt. It seemed to take hours. By the time they were finished, it had been decided that Caroline, Stefan and I would be staying with Liz for the time-being. I was exhausted, but I still couldn't sleep. Stefan, Caroline, Derek and I all had to go to the station to give our statements.

I didn't understand why everyone had to be dragged into this, but Liz told me that everyone who knew anything about the abuse had to give statements. She said it would help the case. She got a judge to issue an order of protection. No one has seen or heard from Damon, since he left last night.

* * *

I stared up at the ceiling in Caroline's old bedroom. I couldn't sleep, even though I was beyond exhausted. My mind was working on overdrive, going a million miles a minute. I'm petrified of what will happen, when Damon finds me.

I keep going over and over everything that happened. How could everything go so wrong, in such a short amount of time? I don't want to die. I really don't. I may not know how to get myself out of this situation, but I do know, with every fiber of my being, that I don't want to die. There is one truth that I keep coming back to – if Damon can't have me, he'll find a way to kill me. And that… that shook me to my core.

* * *

After a few hours, I gave up on trying to sleep. It didn't matter how tired I, or my body, was. It just wasn't happening. I had too much on my mind. I was too on edge to relax.

I changed into a clean pair of clothes that Caroline had left out for me, of hers – clothes that wouldn't remind me of Damon. It was just an old t-shirt and a soft pair of cotton shorts, but it made all the difference.

The walk to the kitchen seemed to take ages. I wasn't used to walking around with so much skin exposed. It's nerve-racking. The collective sharp intake of breath, when I walked into the room, let me know that I looked as bad as I felt. I suddenly wished that I had left my hair down, so I could hide behind it.

"Are you hungry, Bon? You should really try and eat something." Caroline was the first to break the silence. I shook my head. I really don't think I can stomach food, right now. Just the thought of it, makes my stomach tangle into knots. "Please? Just a little something?" She tried again. I just shrugged. "I'll make you some toast." She decided. I just nodded.

My eyes wandered around the kitchen and landed on Derek. I didn't even realize he was here. He's staring at me with an overwhelming intensity. I hugged my arms around myself, trying to cover up.

"Are you cold?" Derek asked me, noticing the shift in behavior. His voice was soft and filled with concern. He held my gaze and I Couldn't look away. I nodded, instead of answering him. He took off his Henley, revealing a sleeveless undershirt underneath. He handed it to me, wordlessly. It took me a few moments to accept it. I put it on carefully, trying not to upset my ribs or shoulder. Doing anything without hurting seems to be impossible.

"Thank you." I whispered, still trying to figure out why he would give me his shirt. It smells like him and it made me wonder if he's always smelled this good. It's strange smelling another man and wearing his clothes. I can't remember the last time that happened.

"It looks better on you, anyways." He replied, gently. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I played with the sleeves, before deciding to roll them up, so they weren't so ridiculously long on me.

"Um… I didn't know you were coming by…" I blurted out, lamely. Derek gave me a ghost of a smile.

"I just wanted to see how you were holding up… You know, considering." He replied, just as awkwardly. I nodded.

"Here's your toast, Bonnie. Stefan and I are going to run out and get a few things for dinner. Mom should be home soon, too… Will you be okay?" Caroline asked me. I knew what she was doing. She's trying to give me time alone with Derek, so we can talk. She probably things that it'll help. Maybe she's right and maybe it will, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to talk about, what she wants us to talk about.

"I can stay, until you get back. If you want?" Derek offered, looking at me, as if trying to read my body language. I cursed Caroline in my head, but nodded anyway.

"Okay," I gave in. Caroline beamed.

"Make sure she eats – okay?" She told Derek.

"I will." He assured her.

"Thanks!" And she was off. I sat down at the table with my plate. Derek followed suit.

"Caroline told me that she talked to you about my past. I wanted to clear the air, because I didn't want you to feel like I was upset that she shared that with you. It's not really something that I advertise, but it's not something that I hide, either. I understand why she shared that with you. I know that my situation doesn't put me in your shoes, but if you ever need someone to talk to… someone who can kind of relate to what you've been through… I'm around and I won't judge you or hold anything you tell me against you." He explained.

My knuckles were white, because of how tightly I was holding onto the seat of my chair. It's not what I expected Derek to say. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to that… I'm not sure what I _**want**_ to say.

"I… Okay." I breathed. He nodded and nudged the plate of toast closer to me. I started picking at it, but not really eating it. "I can't eat this – if I do, I'll be sick."

"Just one bite?" He tried. I nodded and did as he asked. As soon as the toast hit my tongue, I felt my stomach start to churn. I pushed the plate away, as soon as I swallowed the bite. Derek seemed satisfied.

"Thank you." He said, quietly. I nodded. "What do you want to do until they get back?" He asked me. I gave him a meek shrug.

"When I'm well enough… would you still be willing to give me those self-defense lessons?" I asked him. He seemed relieved by my question and the fact that I was still interested.

"Of course," he replied, without any hesitation. "I'd be happy to."

* * *

We ended up making small talk until they got back to the house. The more time I spent around Derek, the less awkward I felt around him. He's surprisingly patient and doesn't seem to mind my skittishness or my constant internal struggles. He promised to keep coming by to check on me. I tried to tell him that it wasn't necessary, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He kept insisting that it wasn't any trouble.

* * *

We were watching some movie in Liz' living room, but my eyes kept flitting over to Stefan. I couldn't help but wonder if there was any truth to Damon's threats. He seemed to pick up on it, because he paused the movie and moved to come sit next to me. I froze, involuntarily. Caroline had fallen asleep on the floor and Liz had gotten called back into work, so it was just us.

"What's wrong, Bonnie? And don't tell it's nothing, because you've been staring at me for the past house." Stefan confronted me about my wandering eyes. I bit my lip nervously.

"Earlier last night… Damon said some things… things about the two of you growing up…" I struggled to explain. I kept losing my nerve. Do I really want to know if there's any truth to it? Would I be able to look at Stefan the same way, again? I don't know if I can handle knowing… I don't know if I can handle not knowing either.

"What did he say, Bonnie? You can tell me." Stefan's voice was so sincere. I can't believe that he's anything like his brother.

"He said that the two of you liked to – and have in the past – share women. He implied that's what would be happening last night. He told me that it didn't matter is I wanted it or not… but he was lying, right?" My voice broke and I lost the ever-losing battle of holding my tears back. I couldn't bear to look at Stefan, afraid of his reaction.

"Bonnie… I'm not going to lie to you. My brother and I _**have**_ shared women in the past. But you have to believe me, when I tell you that I had no intention of sharing you with Damon last night. I respect you too much to even consider something like that, without talking to you about it first. There is a reason that we stopped sharing. Damon got greedy. He liked to inflict pain more than pleasure. I've never understood that about him. I never understood how the two of you were together. You've always been so timid and sweet. I never even considered that there was a possibility that Damon was hurting you. I wish that I could have done something sooner. I understand why you never said anything, but I promise you that what my brother did to you hasn't made me think any less of you, as a person." Stefan promised. He wrapped his arms around me, tentatively. I crumbled in his embrace and let my emotions consume me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.

After a week of staying with Liz, I still couldn't relax. I knew that Damon was just biding his time… I knew that when he finally resurfaced, he would hit me in the most painful way imaginable. I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't sure that I would ever be.

I think the biggest surprise of this whole ordeal was Derek. I knew that he said that he would come visit me, but I hadn't expected him to come every day. He hasn't missed a day once. He never comes empty-handed, either. Sometimes he comes bearing chocolate, other times it's some movie that we had talked about, to watch together. I was slowly becoming more comfortable around him. The only one that I'm used to being this comfortable with is Caroline. I'm not even this comfortable around Stefan.

I know that even though he is Damon's brother, he wasn't the same person. That didn't meant that there weren't times that Stefan didn't remind me of Damon – because there were. I think that's the biggest reason that I can't bring myself to completely relax around him.

* * *

"Have you left the house, other than doctor's visits? " Derek asked me. I shook my head. We both knew that I hadn't. I'm too paranoid. I'm convinced that the moment I do, Damon will show up and find me.

I know that it's not logical. I do, but that doesn't make convincing myself otherwise is any easier.

"No," I breathed. Derek looked like there was something he wanted to say, but was holding back. He gets that look a lot. I'm never sure if I should be grateful for it, or not.

"There's someone I'd like you to meet, when you're feeling up to it. My sister, Laura, s moving to town and…. I think it might help both of you to talk to each other. If you're not ready, it's fine. I understand. I haven't told her about you. I didn't want to say anything, until I knew that you were ready." He explained. I nodded, taking in his words. He's always so thoughtful. He continues to surprise me. He's one of the most patient people that I've ever met.

"I… I don't know if I'll ever be ready to talk about that with anyone…. But I would be honored to meet your sister, Derek. If she's anything like you, then I'm sure she's great. I think that having another friends right now… would be really nice." I told him. He gave me a small smile that gave me butterflies in my stomach.

When I first met Derek, I was intimidated. I don't think that I really realized that there was a big difference between someone being intimidating and someone being scary. Derek doesn't scare me. He's so gentle. Lately, I've been finding myself wondering more and more about what my life would have been like, if I had met Derek instead of Damon. I knew that I would never know that answer. It didn't matter.

I knew that no one would ever want a broken girl like me. I was damaged goods, at best. Not that it really mattered. I doubt that I'll ever be comfortable sharing myself with anyone else, again. Derek deserved someone better than me. He deserved someone who was as perfect as he was. I knew that I could never be that.

"I really think that the two of you would hit it off. You remind me of her sometimes. Your personalities are so similar." He admitted.

"I look forward to meeting her." I promised.

* * *

Caroline laid with me in bed. I woke up in a cold sweat, hours ago, from nightmares. I doubt that they are ever going to stop. I can't escape him. He'll always have power over me.

I jumped, when my phone vibrated in my hands. I was looking on Pinterest absentmindedly, trying to take my mind off of my reoccurring nightmares. It was a text message. Dread filled my stomach, until I saw it was from Derek.

' _Are you up? I can't sleep… want to binge on_ Criminal Minds _?  
_ _-Derek'_

His offer was the best I had heard in a long while.

' _I've been up for ages, but everyone here is asleep – I'd hate to wake them up…  
_ _-Bonnie'_

I sent my reply hesitantly. My phone started vibrating and I realized that he was calling me. I crawled out of bed and went into the hallway.

"Hello?" I breathed.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I know that you said everyone was sleeping, but I thought it would be quicker if I called." He apologized.

"Oh, no, it's okay." I assured him. He let out a nervous sounding chuckle. Why would he be nervous about talking to me?

"Fell free to say no, but I thought that since neither of us could sleep, maybe you would want to come over to my place and watch it? I can pick you up." He offered. I bit my lip. I wanted to. I really did. I knew that I couldn't hide in Liz' house for the rest of my life.

"Okay, just let me tell Caroline. Are you sure that you don't mind? I don't want to be any trouble." I hesitated.

"I promise I don't mind. I wouldn't have offered, if I did. "I'll be there in ten." He ended the call.

I went back into the room I was sharing with Caroline. She woke up, when I sat down on the bed.

"Derek invited me to come over to watch movies, since neither of us could sleep." I told her. That seemed to wake her right up.

"What are you gonna do?" She asked me.

"I told him I would go. I don't know… Do you think it's a bad idea?" I asked her, gnawing at my bottom lip.

"I think it's great. I think it's good for you to get out of the house and try to do something fun. I think being around your friends is really good for you, right now. Don't worry about telling mom. I'll let her know." Caroline helped ease my worries. My phone vibrated with a new message. "Is he here?" She asked me.

' _I'm outside.  
_ _-Derek'_

My eyes scanned over the message and I nodded to Caroline.

"Come on. I'll walk you out." Caroline volunteered. I pulled on a sweater and some shoes, before following her to the front door. "Try to have fun. Okay? And call me if you need _**anything**_."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.

Derek was leaning against his car, as he waited for me. He looked up and smiled, when he saw me. Heat crept into my face. I couldn't ignore how much differently Derek makes me feel, compared to everyone else. It's like nothing that I have ever experienced.

"I'm glad that you decided to come… There's no one else that I would rather keep me company." He admitted, as he opened the car door for me. I offered him a shy smile, as I saw down and put on my seatbelt.

"Thanks for thinking of me." I replied, softly.

* * *

We didn't say much during the car ride to his house. We just listened to the songs on the radio. Most of my worries seemed to dissipate. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. There's just something about Derek that puts me at ease. It's something that I would ever experience with a man – ever – after Damon.

We pulled into the driveway of the house that was hidden away in the woods. Even though it's dark outside, I can tell that it's well-kept. After meeting Derek, you'd think that he'd be the type of guy to have a tricked out loft somewhere, but somehow, as house seems more fitting. He's just more comfortable with his own space.

"It's kind of sparse, but it's home. I'm sure it'll look much better, after Laura moves in." Derek admitted. I looked over and nodded. "I know that this is probably going to sound weird, because I know that you've been staying with Caroline… but if for whatever reason you ever need to just get away… You're always welcome here." He professed.

"Thank you, Derek. That – that really means a lot." I whispered. We got out of the car and I gave him a tentative hug. It took him a moment to relax into it. He seemed surprised by it. I can't really blame him. It's the first hug we've shared. He pressed his lips on the top of my head, before PI pulled away.

"How about a tour?" He offered.

"I'd love one."

* * *

I yawned and snuggled up closer to my bed. I started to stretch and immediately regretted it. Everything still aches, but it's not nearly as bad as it was.

Once my eyes put everything into focus, I realized that I wasn't in the room that I had been sharing with Caroline. I had fallen asleep at Derek's. I looked over the room and saw a sleeping Derek next to me. His arm was around me, lazily. It seems like we both dozed off. It was so late… I can't believe I actually felt comfortable enough around him to let myself sleep…

"You okay?" He asked me, sleepily. My moving had woken him up.

"Yeah," I whispered, not really sure if I was. It's a big change. I don't know why _**he**_ keeps surprising me.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep on you." He apologized, as he sat up and rubbed a hand over his face. "Do you want to shower or anything? You can sleep in my room if you want. I don't really have the other room set up. Laura wanted to move all of her stuff down… I don't mind crashing on the couch, if you're still tired." He offered. I bit my lip.

"You're so patient." I thought out loud. "It's… really refreshing. You keep being so nice and you really don't have to." I said, before I could stop myself. He gave me a look that even with all of the words I know, I wouldn't be able to describe.

"I do. Nice is how you should be treated. I just… It's like you don't know how incredible you are, Bonnie. You're just this wonderful, selfless woman and this animal you were with made you believe that you were less than a person. It's not right. It's not right and I will never make you feel that way. No person should be degraded like that. You make everyone else feel comfortable around you. Why shouldn't be allowed to feel the same? I know we haven't known each other long, but you're important to me. I just… it kills me that someone tried so hard to break down that bright light inside of you. You might not see it anymore, but even when you're not trying, you make everyone in your life feel better. If you're trying to thank me for treating you right, you don't have to. You never have to thank me for that." He lamented. I stared at my hands in my lap. I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't know what I wanted to say to that.

"Okay," I replied, simply, still processing his words.

"I'm serious, Bonnie." He whispered.

"I know."

* * *

Things didn't really get too awkward after that. I took Derek up on his offer to shower. I ended up taking a nap in his bed. He insisted that he didn't mind the couch. He wouldn't let me sleep on the couch, so I didn't really have much of a choice. I felt bad about making him sleep on the couch in his own house.

Everything here smelled like him and it made me safe. Derek makes me feel safe. I'm worried that I'm starting to feel things for Derek that I'm not ready to feel. It scares me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know updates aren't even close to regular. I do. I'm working full time and trying to bang out my school classes as soon as possible to get my degree finished. It's kicking my ass. Bear with me.
> 
> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.

I spent the next night at Derek's. I hadn't planned on it, but Caroline insisted that she didn't mind bringing me clothes by. Derek mentioned that he had been contemplating painting a few rooms in his house, but he needed help picking out a color. I offered to help, but it ended up taking much longer than we anticipated.

Spending time with Derek was starting to feel normal and eerily domestic. It's mind-numbingly easy to be comfortable with him. There weren't any secret expectations to meet. I didn't have to worry about being punished for messing up, somehow.

No matter how at peace things seemed… I couldn't help but wait for the other shoe to drop. I know that it's only a matter of time, before I have to face the music. People like me don't get a happy ending. I know that. I've accepted it. I just know how to be still.

I'm terrified of everything. I'm terrified of the dark. I'm terrified of silence. I terrified of noises. I'm terrified of being touched. I'm terrified of being hit. I'm terrified that Damon is going to show up and drag me back into that hell that he turned my life into. I'm terrified that I'll always be this shallow, pathetic shell of the woman I used to be. I'm terrified that Damon was right about all of the things he said. I'm terrified that no one will ever love me. I'm terrified that I don't deserve to be loved.

"Hey," Derek's soft voice broke through the silence. "I appreciate all of your help today… I'm pretty sure most of the paint would've ended up on the floor, if it wasn't for you." He joked. I let out a soft laugh. I was surprised at how genuine it was and how easy it felt. "That's one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard." Derek admitted.

"What is?" I asked him, confused.

"You're laugh," he replied simply. I blushed and looked down. No matter how hard I try, I can never stop comparing him to Damon. They have so few similarities. He's everything that Damon lacks. Above everything else, Derek _**is kind**_.

Even though I don't know him that well, I don't believe that Derek would ever lie to me. Even if hearing the truth will be brutal, he gives it anyway. That's just how he is – honest. I love that about him. I respect him for it. I know that he means what he says, I just don't see how his view of me can be so warped… There's nothing beautiful about me. I've come to terms with that truth a long time ago.

"I can almost hear your mind going a mile a minute… You know… you don't have to believe me, when I say things like that, but I hope that one day you will." He breathed. I looked up at him, still unsure of what to say.

"I… Okay," I whispered. He sighed at my response and I bit my lip.

"I almost wish that I had met you before everything with Damon happened." He breathed. He offered me a soft smile. "I bet you were a force to be reckoned with and your smile could light up a room… But if I met you before, you wouldn't be the same person you are now and that would be a damn shame."

"Why?" I asked, out of sheer curiosity. I'm having trouble following his logic.

"Because I genuinely love the person you are now. It kills me that you don't see how incredible you are." He replied, without hesitation. I tried to swallow the growing lump on my throat, as I felt my nose start to burn and my eyes start to water. I took a deep breath and left the room. I walked outside, not caring if it was the middle of the night. I felt like I was suffocating in there. I wrapped my arms around myself, as my chin began to tremble and my tears started to fall. Everything is so messed up – _**so messed up**_.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Derek's voice sounded behind me. I jumped and mentally berated myself. I never even heard him come outside. "I'm sorry." He apologized. I hastily wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I wish that you had met me before, too… I used to be _**so**_ strong." I breathed.

"You still are. You may not see it, Bonnie, but you are." He argued. He stepped closer to me, so he was standing in front of me. He looked hesitant for a moment, before putting his hands on my waist and pulling me closer to him. "If I didn't care about you as much as I do, I'd kiss you right now." He leaned down and I tried to ignore how tiny I felt. His lips touched my forehead and he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to his chest.

I found myself wishing that he had kissed me. I wondered if his lips would feel as soft against my own. I knew he was right. I didn't know if it was a good idea. I doubted that I could handle it. No matter how I felt, it didn't change the unavoidable truth. Derek deserved better than me. He always would.

"You shouldn't… You deserve someone so much better than me." I murmured against his chest. I heard him sigh, as he pulled away from me and broke our embrace. He cupped the side of my face, before moving his thumb underneath my chin. He forced me to look up at him, because otherwise we both knew that I wouldn't.

"Bonnie," his voice was gruff and it made him sound more vulnerable that I've ever heard him before. "There is no one better than you." The way he said it – it sounded like a promise. If it was anyone but Derek, I would just brush off the words as sweet nothings being used to try to manipulate me. But Derek… Derek has this heartbreaking sincerity when he talks to me. When _**he**_ says something, I want to believe it and I _**almost**_ do.

"No," I argued. No matter how much I wanted to believe him, I just _**couldn't**_.

"Bonnie," Derek started to say something, but stopped himself. He looked down at me and we locked eyes. Derek leaned down and covered my lips with his own. I gasped against him, as my eyes fluttered shut. My heart was beating like crazy and my brain seemed to shut down. I kissed him back, before I could overthink things.

His hand caressed the side of my face gently, as his other hand cradled me to him gingerly. Even though I had never kissed Derek before, I knew he was holding back. That realization ripped me from my momentary reverie. I broke the kiss and took a few steps backwards. My hand flew to my mouth.

Derek just kissed me – and I kissed him back. What just happened? I wrapped my arms around myself and sank to the ground. I couldn't stop picturing Damon showing up and beating the shit out of me for kissing someone else. I shouldn't have done that. How could I be so stupid?! Damon was right. After all this time… I _**still**_ didn't know my place…

"Hey, whatever you're thinking – _**stop**_. You're allowed to feel however you're feeling. No one has the right to tell you how you should feel or punish you for it." Derek sat down next to me and I looked over at him. I let out a shaky breath and he tried to dry my tears. "I know that it was too soon to kiss you, I just… I didn't know how else to show you that I wasn't feeding you a load of bullshit. You're amazing and I hate that he made you feel so inferior."

I don't know how he does it, but it's like Derek knows exactly what to say. Maybe it's because of his sister, Laura? Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for it.

No matter what I do, I can't help feeling that I'm in over my head and I'm beginning to drown. It's all I can do to get in a breath of air. Heaven help me.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Trigger warnings. Don't like, don't read. This story breaks my heart, but you better bet your ass that there will be an eventual happy ending.
> 
> I DO NOT OWN TEEN WOLF, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.

As soon I got back to Liz's place, I fell into an easy routine with everyone. Coexisting was surprisingly easy. It was nice having them around. I felt less lonely. I don't think I realized how isolated I have felt over the past few years living with Damon. I don't miss it. I'm not sure that I ever will.

* * *

I was out on the front porch, just listening to the birds chirp, when I felt eyes on me. Liz had just left for work. I didn't think anything of staying outside. I should have. That was my mistake. I got up from where I was sitting and made my way to the front door, when I felt a hand grip my wrist. I whipped around and saw the face that's been tormenting my dreams for years. It was the face that I prayed that I would never have to see again.

"Did you really think that I would stay away from you forever? It doesn't matter where you go or if you hide, Bonnie. I will always find you. You're _**mine**_ and no one else's. You need to remember that." He growled with a dangerous smirk. I tried to back away from him, but he just tightened his hold on me. I trembled like a leaf and he just shoved me against the house.

"N-no," I choked out. Damon's smirk slid from his face and he slammed his knee into my gut. I cried out and started to fall forward, but he steadied me.

"There you go again, forgetting your place. Is that anyway to talk to me?" He asked me. He grabbed a handful of my hair at the base of my neck and forced me to look up at him. I fought the tears that were threatening to fall down my cheeks. "I never want to see another man put his hands on you. Do you hear me?!" He bellowed. I nodded, frantically. "You're _**mine**_." He spun me around and shoved my front against the house. He fumbled with his pants and tore my shorts down. I froze. I knew what was going to happen, because it's the same thing he's done to me countless times before. It didn't matter if I didn't want it. It never did. Damon took whatever he liked from me, anyway. "Do Stefan and Derek know how much of a whore you are?" Damon rasped as he shoved himself into me. I started to cry and I couldn't stop. He grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back, until I heard something snap. He just kept going. He always keeps going, even after he's pushed me past my breaking point. "God, I missed this. You have the sweetest pussy. I could never give it up. No one else even comes close. Look what you do to me, baby. I fucking love this." His movements became more sporadic, as he cooed at me. He used his free hand to toy with my clit. My hips rolled involuntarily. I knew he wasn't going to stop until I came with him. I hate him. I hate him so fucking much for doing this to me. He makes me want to die. "Come on, baby. You're so tense. You need this as much as I do. Let me take care of you." He breathed. He sounds like a gentle lover, not a violent rapist. He gave me a pinch and that did it for me. My knees buckled and I free-fell into a forced orgasm.

"Stop." I sobbed, when I finally caught my breath. He let go of me and let me fall to the ground. I shook violently. I didn't want it. I didn't want this. I just want to be treated like a person. I want to be treated like I matter. Everything he does to me is so dehumanizing and I just have to take it.

"I'm never going to stop, baby. Don't you get it? You're mine to do whatever I please with. That's never going to stop and I'm never going to let you go." He dragged me to my feet by my hair. He crushed his lips to mine with a bruising kiss, before head-butting me and letting me sink back to the ground. Blood gushed from my nose and my hand went to my face. I heard a car pull up, as Damon fixed his pants. "I'll see you soon, baby. Don't forget what I told you. And try to be a good girl this time, okay?" Damon took off. I don't even know how he got here and how he had the balls to force himself on me outside in broad daylight.

"Oh, my _**God**_ , Bonnie?! What the hell happened to you?! Are you okay?!" Derek and Caroline came running over to me. I had enough sense to pull the tattered remains of my shorts over me to try and cover up.

"H-He was here. He just left. Oh, my _**God**_ , he's never going to stop." I sobbed. Derek got to me first. The heartbroken look on his face killed me inside. I don't deserve all of the care that he keeps giving me.

"We need to get you to a hospital." He said, firmly, as he picked me up in his arms. I didn't say anything. I knew that I didn't have a choice. Caroline already had her phone out. I assumed that she was calling Meredith. I wouldn't trust anyone else. I don't know how I'm going to face Liz and tell her that I still can't stand up to Damon. I don't know what it is about him, but he has me trained. His dominating presence is so overwhelming. Even when I try to refuse, it doesn't make a difference.

"Here Bon. You can where these." Caroline shimmied out of her sweatpants that she was wearing over her yoga shorts. "Let's go. I told Meredith that we were on our way. I can call my mom in the car." She asserted. I nodded. Derek helped me put on the pants and tried to set me in the passenger's seat. I refused. I don't want him to let go of me. I terrified that if he does, I'll break.

"I-I want to sit with you. Please? Please d-don't leave." I stammered. He didn't say anything, just sat in the back seat of Caroline's car with me. He just held me and placed a soft kiss on top of my head.

"I would never leave you." He said low enough for just me to hear.

* * *

The hospital trip was an agonizing blur. Liz came down to take my statement, so I wouldn't get dragged to the station to do it later. I'm exhausted. I'm beyond exhausted. I don't even know if there's a word for this. I didn't protest when Meredith gave a new prescription for pain pills or the sleeping pills. I just took them. Derek stayed true to his word. He adverted his eyes, during the vaginal exam, but he didn't leave me. His hand stayed in mine the entire time. I'm sure that I would have been able to get through it without him.

* * *

Derek volunteered to stay the night at Liz's house. I didn't ask him – I didn't have to. Caroline volunteered to crash on the couch, so he could stay in the room that she and I had been sharing, with me. I'm not sure why it having him there helped, but it did. He didn't try to force me to talk. He just let me sit in the silence or put on a happy movie to try and take my mind off things. I appreciated it – I appreciate him.

They all knew what happened. They were there, when I gave Liz my statement. I didn't want to have to say it more than once. Having to relive it in my mind was bad enough, without having to keep talking about it. Talking about it didn't help. It didn't change anything or make the mind-numbing pain go away. I just had to take it, like I always do.

I had to cope with knowing that Damon wasn't going to stop. I didn't know what I was going to do. If the police can't catch him, I'll never be safe. As long as he's roaming around free, my nightmare would never be over. I had no idea what to do.

"Hey, come here." Derek whispered. I jumped. I didn't realize that he had woken up. He had nodded off earlier and I've been trying not to wake him. He opened his arms and looked at me expectantly. I cuddled up against him and settled my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt safe. It's hard to remember what that feels like. "I'll stay as long as you need me to, okay? And if you need to get out of the house, you're welcome to stay with me, as long as you like. Laura is coming next week. I'm sure that she would love the company."

"Thank you." I breathed.

"For what?"

"Everything," I finished. The lump in my throat kept growing and I tried to will myself not to cry.

"You don't have to thank me, Bonnie."


End file.
